Desperate HouseHusband
by andrea0512
Summary: Collection of flashfics about the awesome Domestic!Hook (I'm Italian, so I'm sorry for eventual mistakes)
1. Hook and the curse of the mirror

Captain Hook And The Curse Of The Mirror

Hook: Emma

Emma: Yes, Killian?

Hook: Emma

Hook: Sorry for interrupting you, lass, but I have a problem

Hook: I've been cursed

Emma: Wait, what? Tell me everything!

Hook: I woke up Henry

Hook: I made him breakfast

Hook: Did you know I make awesome toasts ?

Hook: Like, really awesome

Hook: Well, you shouldn't be surprised, love, tell me one thing I'm not good at

Emma: For God's sake, Killian, straight to the point!

Hook: Right, lass

Hook: Sorry

Hook: I was in the kitchen and suddenly

Hook: It started

Emma: What ? What started, Hook?!

Hook: The curse

Hook: I think it's Rumple's fault

Emma: Don't be so hasty, tell me about this curse.

Emma: Look, I'm working and I have no time to waste, hurry up Killian

Hook: I'm gonna kill him

Emma: Killian! Okay, listen to me. I'm coming over, give me two minutes

Hook: I was in the kitchen

Hook: And this thing got luminous

Hook: Like, really luminous

Emma: Killian, don't tell me that..

Hook: I approached

Hook: And I saw an old woman in it

Hook: It's a cursed mirror, Emma, do you understand?!

Hook: Rumple has turned me into an old woman

Hook: DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE GRAVITY OF THIS SITUATION?!

Hook: How can I be the amazing Captain Hook in this condition?

Hook: I'm gonna kill him, he needs to pay.

Hook: I promised you to not revenge myself upon him, but this is too much

Emma: …

Hook: Emma

Hook: Swan

Emma: I can't believe this

Hook: I know. You told me that your land was a land without magic.

Emma: I'm gonna kill you.

Hook: Lass, we're not in the bed. Save it for tonight ;)

Emma: It's a freaking television!

Emma: That woman you saw… She's not you. She's the lady of the news.

Hook: …

Hook: Mhm

Hook: You're telling I'm not cursed?

Emma: Go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. What do you see?

Hook: A smokin' hot pirate.

Hook: Oh God, I'm not cursed

Hook: Rumpelstiltskin is safe, for now.

Hook: Well, lass, it's been electrifying.

Hook: Mind to come over and explain to me what this "news" is? ;)

Emma: Hide while you can

Emma: I'm serious Killian


	2. Hook and 'Pirates of the Caribbean'

Hook: So.. How is this thing called?  
Emma: It's a movie, Killian. It's a story, but it didn't really happen.  
Hook: So.. Are we watching a fake thing?  
Emma: Yes, but that's the fun thing  
Hook: I think you said 'boring' wrong, love  
Emma: Just shut up, it's starting  
Hook: How is this thing called again?  
Emma: 'Pirates of the Caribbean'.. it talks about pirates.. you know  
Hook: I got it

Hook: That's not how a ship is built, not at all  
Hook: And you'd be a pirate? In what world?  
Hook: Oh yes, that is of course a crew. They wouldn't survive not even an hour in the sea!

Man: SHUT UP!  
Hook: THEY'RE NOT TRUE PIRATES!  
Hook: Peasant.  
Emma: Henry let you use Tumblr didn't he..  
Hook: I can't even right now..  
Emma: Chill out, or they'll kick you out from the room  
Hook: Okay love, I'll try to stay calm  
Hook: Wait who's this guy  
Hook: What does he have on his eyes  
Hook: I want it  
Hook: Now  
Hook: Tell me the brand  
Hook: I would nail that color  
Emma: Oh, I really like Johnny Depp..  
Hook: Say it again!  
Emma: The actor, it's great  
Hook: …  
Emma: The one who's acting in the movie..  
Hook: …  
Emma: The guy wearing the eyeliner.. He's an actor, a person who acts.. He'isn't a pirate, I told you, it's all fake  
Hook: Too complicated. All I know is that I want that thing now  
Emma: Ok we'll buy it later, but just enjoy the movie now, okay?  
Hook: Okay lass, I'll try to enjoy this big lie  
Emma: It's not a lie! They're not tricking people, it's done on purpose!  
Hook: So you pay for a fake thing  
Emma: Enough. Get up, we're going out  
Hook: ENJOY YOUR BIG LIE PEOPLE!  
Emma: You realize that they're not going to let us in there, like, forever?  
Hook: What a loss love, we could spend our time doing more enjoyable activities.


End file.
